When I wrote my last post, I was just getting into the idea of posting more regularly throughout NaBloPoMo. I was just getting into the swing of things, using blogging to recover from the painful grief of loosing my Dad in September. We were adjusting to a new normal.
Less than 24 hours after writing that post I was on a plane headed for NY.
Within a week I was holding my mother’s hand asking her to always look after the kids as she went to be with Dad.
Two months to the day we laid Mom to rest with Dad.
There are no words.
No words anyone can tell me.
No words I have that can make any sense of this.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am in NY.
The whole family is.
Mom should be here.
They both should be here.
We didn’t have a single holiday mourning Dad and now we mourn them both.
And yet life is still moving forward.
We’re getting up and moving forward everyday.
The kids need us.
We’re adjusting again…somehow trying to figure it all out.
But the truth is I have no idea how to do it. How do you keep going when the two people who have been there championing you and getting you through your entire life are gone so suddenly?
And then in my mind I can hear them…and all the years of love and wisdom and I know that somehow I’ll figure this out.
Mom wouldn’t have left so soon if she didn’t know we’d be ok.
But that rational side of me is too overcome with emotion now and all I want is for them to be here to make pumpkin pie.
Happy Thanksgiving Mom & Dad. I miss you both.